Best laid plans...

    "the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray...." you 
can prepare for everything except the unexpected.  23 years ago 
when I graduated college I never believed I would be here 
in this place today.  A friend said to me today I can't imagine 
how it is or him and you to deal with this everyday (speaking 
about Cody's illness)... quite honestly some days it seems like 
too much, that its too hard and I want to wake up from this 
nightmare and be done.

    Then I look at how far we've come. There are bad days. It is 
very hard to see your child give up something they love because 
the illness doesn't make it possible anymore. It is hard to see 
them have rethink all they ever wanted to be. Robert Frost once 
said If there is one thing I've leaned about life it is... it goes on.
Nine years ago getting an answer became an all encompassing
goal for me.  Nine years ago we talking about replacing heart 
valves  And we still don't have all the answers... and I have had
to rest in the fact that I don't have all the answers but I know 
the One who does and to just go on.

  The Psalmist wrote Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light
unto my path.  Have you ever walked a path in the dark with a 
flashlight when camping?  If you hold the light in front of you 
can't see very far ahead but you can walk safely... if you try to 
shine the light ahead you end up tripping on things you didn't 
see on the path. It is so easy for me to want to see what is 
ahead and then get tripped up on everyday life.  I believe God 
is an ever present help in times of trouble... I know this to be 
true because we have experienced trouble and we have 
experienced His presence in a very real way. We never had to 
replace that heart valve and I have been able to see my son 
grow into man of faith, compassion and courage. 

    Right now I feel as if I am being crushed in the crucible...
Cody is flaring, Mike has pneumonia, Rachel is struggling to 
come into her own... I could go on and on. I have to trust that
God has a plan and that He keeps His promises... my 
experience is that He is always on time and never late!