Tonight as I sit here...my youngest son is laying in his bed crying.
Why you might ask? I don't know. It maybe that we have blood
work tomorrow that started his descent. It may be we are starting
a flare. It may be for some other~what I would deem crazy~ reason
but to him it is real and heartbreaking.
This is the second night in a row... and I honestly am at my wits end. I
know he is likely overtired with the advent of fall baseball and school
starting. But I'm telling you my throat hurts from loudly explaining over
and over that its okay just go to bed! This kid started bedtime last night
(and tonight) at 9:30 he didn't collapse until after midnight last night
(with about 15 trips out for some reason or another).
It's not always like this. In fact most nights he heads to bed reads till
9:30, takes Flip out, gives him his snack and they head to bed not to
be seen again till morning. But on nights like this I doubt both our sanity.
As Christians we are taught to not worry... so you tend to worry that you
are feeling anxious and are worrying... it can be a never ending cycle. So
that anxiety holds you hostage.
We are well acquainted with anxiety in the Lauffer house the hubs has
had debilitating episodes at times. Anxiety doesn't leave when it feels unwelcome it just digs its heels in and hunkers down. It throws
everyone around it into turmoil and dismay.
The thing I think that makes it so bad... is that people/ families feel so dreadfully alone. Only when you have experienced it can you understand
how this house guest over stays its welcome. Most of us have been
anxious or worried at times. Most of us however do not live on the verge of panic so we have no empathy for those who live this way.
So to the mama who child is teetering on the edge I want you to know
you are not alone. That tonight we are hanging out together. Praying for
peace and strength to make it through the storm.
