Christmas is my favorite time of the year! For me, it puts everything into perspective. Is it so easy to be caught up with the way things should be in contrast to the way they are.
It is a yearly reminder that God became a man and stepped into our world to bridge the gap between the way things are and the way they ought
to be. It's the celebration of the gift of His presence with us.
Our family is the same as others and it is easy to be caught up in the crazy busy schedule of activities and shopping... Hannah has already danced
at the town's Christmas tree lighting and a church's Christmas festival.
Actually, it is only 12 days to Christmas and I have done hardly any
shopping,a couple of stocking stuffers and extended family gifts. So I need to get busy!
Cody comes home this Friday and we have several doctor appts scheduled
over his and my holiday break. Our newest complication is Hannah's iron
levels. The past couple of months they have been low despite a daily iron supplement. Her iron levels have run at the lowest 43 (normal is 50-120).
At her last infusion blood that was drawn hemolyzed before the could get
the iron level. At the redraw her iron level was 14, that is significantly lower. So we are in a discussion about possible iron infusions.
It's a challenge. It would be so if I were still just at home just
homeschooling,but it is an even harder challenge homeschooling
and working outside the home. Prayers for peace are greatly appreciated.
There have been days of late that I long to pray but am just so tired I can't seem to stay awake to. So there prayer sessions on the way to and from work. There have been days when quite honestly~ when I think of all the medical issues and what they could mean, or how I am not there to help Lucas traverse these potholes with learning issues~ that all I can do while Hannah is at dance class is sit in the car and cry. I am easily overwhelmed
when I focus on what I am able to do vs what I want to be able to do or what I think I should be doing. It's a constant battle I fight.
I read these words in the past week and I want to share them with you because they are the truth I cling to especially in crazy times:
This is not the way it’s supposed to be. All this sadness and bad news and dying. All these anxious phone calls, wars, scary test results, car accidents, terminal diagnoses, ruptured marriages, dogs with cancer, infertility, prodigal children. We hate it, not only because it all hurts like hell, but because eternity itself is encoded in our hearts, telling us that things should be different—in fact, will be, someday. But that doesn’t seem to help much when we’re staggering beneath the bereavement of the way things are.
Of course, we feel this way- of course. But it's only when we bare our hearts to the
pain of this brutal paradox,that our hearts are fully open to the beautiful mystery: God sent his son right into the very middle of this mess. He broke His centuries-long silence with a baby's cry. Almighty God became helpless,humble, vulnerable to the hurts and evils of this world so that we- and our hurts in the bargain -might be redeemed. What on earth does redemption mean but to get back all that is rightfully ours,not because we are good enough, but because we are loved enough. Not because we deserve it, but because it's the way God wanted it all along. The story is clear all the way through the Bible. God doesn't want our sacrifices and our stuff - He wants our hearts. And I believe that He is gathering up everything that has ever broken our hearts to make it all right again in our redemption.
~from Seeds of Love by Lanier Ivester
It is my hope and prayer that we would rejoice in the fact that God did not leave all this mess unredeemed and embrace His presence.
