Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

For the past couple of years it has seemed as if January couldn't come soon enough... I was ready for a new year.  Funny this year has probably been the hardest in at least the past twenty two years.  And although I am not totally sorry to see it go I can't say it was a bad year either. Hard yes~ bad well not really...

You see although it has been tremendously hard year, we have been
blessed beyond measure. Mike's cancer, the financial issues that ensued from that, other various trials like little foxes stealing grapes threatened our faith and sanity at times. And yet by God's grace and mercy we are still standing. Over and over again God has shown himself faithful, even when we were faithless, providing in ways we couldn't even imagined.

I am often like the children of Israel wandering in the desert, I forget too quickly the miracles God just performed. I am learning to trust 
my deliverer. This year has been a long lesson in learning to trust Him.

Tomorrow is another milestone. Cody turns eighteen. Eighteen! Ten years
ago we were discussing heart valve replacements and tomorrow he's eighteen. We still haven't had a miraculous healing ~heck we don't even have a  for certain diagnosis.  But I can say without a doubt after this year especially that God has a plan and He keeps his promises and I know he has something for Cody to do. And Mike and I are blessed to be a part of that plan.

One of those days....

It's been one of those days. We had snow this week. We had almost as much snow as we had all last year in the beginning of this week. Don't get me wrong it's beautiful and I'm sure the water table could use it but ugh!

So this week we found out that neither Hannah or Lucas's snow boots fit, the water proof gloves have disappeared, and only one of them has snow 
pants. Neither one one will come in until everything is soak and frozen
... and arthritic joints don't respond to well to that. I keep having  to say 
'you can go outside but,you can't come in and cry later if you overdo it'.

Mike's mass seems to be a complication of his surgery. Where a lymph node was remove it seems he has accumulated some lymphocytes which have become infected. So he is to have six weeks of antibiotics and if that doesn't clear it up it will have to be drained.

I am pretty exhausted. Lucas has started not sleeping again since all this with Mike. So a couple times a night he is awake... not good for him or me. Makes for a hard school day also.  The one thing that was nice about the 
snow days per say is that I got to do school with the younger ones like normal... nowhere to run just a cozy day at home with school.  Well Monday was a rough day but that is a whole different story.

The older Lucas gets the more his Dysgraphia is an issue. Disgraphia is
a learning disability that affects writing, which requires a complex set of motor and information processing skills.  It can lead to problems with spelling, poor handwriting and putting thoughts on paper. We thought an adaptive technology piece would level the playing field for him, but so far speech to text has been more trouble then helpful. He is so bright we just
need to find a way for him to be able to express himself in writing.


To those of you uplifting us in prayer~ I just want to say thank-you so 
much! We can feel them! And we continuously need them.

I am lighting a candle instead of cursing the darkness.

Second Samuel 22 verse 29 says ' You are my lamp, O LORD; the LORD turns my darkness into light.  I read the other day that gratitude trains the eyes to adjust to the dark.  I believe this means God’s word lights the path, but sometimes only enough to put one foot in front of the other. We can’t see the big picture of what is going on around us. We can only see what God has chosen to reveal to us.

Sometimes clinging to faith is lighting a candle instead of cursing the darkness.  Faith is like light... darkness cannot exist where there is light and doubt cannot exist where there is faith.  In this marathon of life we need the endurance that faith brings.

November for us has been a month of illnesses. Infections both viral and bacterial have hit hard.  We started out celebrating Mike having two psa's of zero ended with them finding another 4cm by 4cm mass.

(We go Tuesday to have that checked out)

I could (and I would be lying if I didn't say I have not been tempted) to give into despair, crawl into my bed pull the covers over my head and stay there. To say it's not fair!  

I took Rachel back to school today. I had the privilege of having Lucas (my 10 year old) as my copilot. He literally talked non stop for 2 hours on the way home... but I was blessed to hear his thoughts on quite a number of topics. :)

One of the many things he shared with me was how life seems harder when your  Christian.  Because the world isn't the way God created it to be and so we just don't fit.  In his 10 year old way he was speaking deep truth.  Bad things happen because this world is a fallen one. Things don't make sense and 'we don't fit'.  But we are not without hope... 

2 Corinthians 4:9 says ' we are persecuted, yet not abandoned; knocked down, yet not destroyed.' And I am lighting that candle and clinging to it's truth.