Sleepless nights

Last night was a sleepless night. If I got two and a half hours in I would be surprised. Rashes and fevers rear their ugly heads here occasionally and I tend to react one of two ways... I can take it in stride and make the 
necessary phone calls or I can freak out. Last night it was the latter 
one.

Maybe its because I was already tired... maybe it's because I am getting 
ready to send another medically complex kiddo away to college, and because answers never seem to be available. Times like last night remind 
me of how vulnerable we are adrift in this undiagnosed affliction.

Driving home tonight with my heart admittedly anxious and heavy at all
the questions petechial hemorrhaging raises and wondering how many
doctor visits and tests this will take to find maybe an answer this time.
The Lord was quick to remind me that He and I have a history and He 
has never failed me yet. Trust is not always my strong suit I kind of like
to have a plan in place. This whole experience has taught me the only 
control I really have is over my attitude. I can choose to trust God or
I can choose to wallow in self-pity.

We have approximately four weeks till our girl heads off to college. Which 
means we have a lot to do medically and otherwise to get her and us
ready. As always we covet your thoughts and prayers. Right now this is
my anthem song.