light momentary affliction...

 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:17 & 18

These are some of my favorite verses but, truth be told often times the affliction seems neither light or momentary. I was speaking with a friend earlier this month and she pointed out how important it is to be real in our suffering. Not for pity but for those suffering as well to know that we understand the struggle. That we understand laying in bed and dreading getting up that morning. That sometimes it is very hard to just put one foot in front of the other.

Our finances have been tenuous since autoinflammatory disease reared its ugly head in our lives. But the past three years with Mike's cancer diagnosis and subsequent heart issues we have been closer to losing our home more times than I care to think about. My own job, while rewarding is not the most constant source of income.

Facebook has this lovely 'On this day...' option. It amazes me has things that use to distress me have become so common place now. For example months that Cody would have 2 chemo infusions would be enough to send me over the edge. Now Hannah has infusions every 3 weeks and Lucas every 4. It's not that it has suddenly become easier ~ it so hasn't~ but it's just what we have to do, so we do it. The day- sometimes week before is rough because the pain is dreadful. The day after is difficult because their body has been saturated with a foreign substance. Yet it makes life bearable for couple of weeks.

For 2 years now we have tried to get to the bottom of Cody's hematuria with no success. Finally we are heading in what seems to be the right direction but it is not quick by any stretch of the imagination. I had hoped that being involved in the study at the NIH would yield more answers only to find we are still an enigma.

But, I strongly believe and am thankful that there is more to this life. Because I have heard His still small voice. I have felt His hand of mercy. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that my redeemer lives and has gone to prepare a place for me.  So that I can say as Paul ~ We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair;  persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.

Before The Morning ~ Josh Wilson

Do you wonder why you have to
Feel the things that hurt you?
If there's a God who loves you
Where is He now?

Or maybe there are things you can't see
And all those things are happening
To bring a better ending
Someday, somehow you'll see, you'll see

Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing?
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the dark before the morning

My friend, you know how this all ends
And you know where you're going
You just don't know how you'll get there
So say a prayer

And hold on
'Cause there's good for those who love God
But life is not a snapshot
It might take a little time, but you'll see the bigger picture

Would you dare, would you dare to believe

That you still have a reason to sing?

'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It can't compare to the joy that's coming

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
'Cause the pain that you've been feeling
It's just the dark before the morning

d of the living.

Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!"