What does it mean to persevere ?

1. persevere(Verb)

 To persist steadfastly in pursuit of an undertaking, task, journey or mission in spite of distraction, difficulty, obstacles or discouragement

Tonight for the second time this weekend, I have left the house in tears. I work nights ...Thursday, Friday & Saturday nights... I have done this coming up on a year now. I left the house in tears because Lucas was in tears. The last 4 months have been miserable. Since Mike's cancer diagnosis in March, Lucas has been struggling with a great deal of anxiety.

Realistically we have reasons to be anxious... financial, physical, etc. However, Lucas starts being anxious that he's going to be anxious and ends up making himself physically ill. It is very hard to walk out the door for 10 hours while the house is in chaos. Lucas said to me earlier tonight, "Saying you trust God is easier than actually trusting Him Mom", don't we all know it!

I am the first one to admit this job is most likely my Ishmael attempt.  What do I mean?  God promised Abraham that he & Sarah would have a son, but Abraham didn't wait for God's provision and had Ishmael with Hagar (Sarah's servant) ...which we all know has caused great grief in the middle east. And this job while until recently has helped keep our house... it has caused great grief.

So tonight I have been playing Lucas's words over and over in my mind. How do we actually trust God and not just say we do? I believe the answer lies in perseverance.  I believe God can and will show up.  My experience has been He is never late and always on time.  But waiting has never been my strong suit...